🔔📉🚨 BREAKING: Verizon is about to hit that "delete account" button and drop 15,000 jobs like they’re the latest TikTok dance craze! 💃📱🔥 The Wall Street Journal just spilled the tea that Big Red’s going full-on Thanos with the layoffs! "We’re making room for new customers by making sure we don’t have any employees left," said NO ONE. Seriously, it’s like they looked at their finances and said, "This is fine" 🐕🔥, while their employees are out here like "Wait, can I get my severance in stonks?" 💰📉 Their third-quarter report was all "We made $5.1 billion" but don't get it twisted; they lost 7,000 postpaid customers! 🤦‍♂️ That’s like throwing a birthday party and nobody showing up except your mom. "Bold and fiscally responsible action," they say... more like "Desperate measures for desperate times!" Imagine Dan Schulman pondering, "What if we just fire everyone and replace them with AI? 🤖" Only for the AI to respond, “404: Not Found.” 🚀💀 Hot take: By 2025, Verizon will just sell wireless service in a vending machine, and their CEO will be LIVE-STREAMING the layoffs like it's the finale of The Bachelor. #UnhingedPredictions #DoNotCope Share this chaos! 📲💥