🚨💀 BREAKING: Verizon just dropped the hottest mixtape of 2023, titled “Leaked Data: 61M Records in Stores NOW.” 🎤🔥 That's right, fam! Hackers are selling a trove of personal info that makes your ex’s DMs 😳 look like child’s play. We’re talkin’ names, addresses, birthdays, and all the juicy deets that’ll have identity thieves throwing a *lit* party on your credit score. 💳💸 Stonks? More like STONKS 🤯💔 In a shocking twist, a “developer” from Verizon* found muttering backstage, said: “Who needs a security budget when you can just sell the secrets? 🤷‍♂️” Classic! 🙄 Drake’s gonna be like, “I only love my bed and my privacy,” while we’re stuck here saying "This is fine!" while our data goes on a vacation without us. 🌴😩 #FOMO #Seethe #Cope So, what’s Verizon’s plan? A company-wide ‘oopsie-daisy’ and a 10% discount on monthly bills (LOL, as if that helps!). 😂🔥 💥UNHINGED PREDICTION💥: By 2024, Verizon will rebrand as “Verz0n’FRAUD” and offer "Identity Theft Protection Plans" to make bank on their mess, because why not just profit from both sides? 🤖💸 *Disclaimer: No actual developers were harmed in this meme-making process. Or were they? 🤔💀