🚨📞 *Breaking Cheeky News from Verizon: Loyalty Discounts are the REAL-life version of Finding Nemo - they just keep swimming away!* 🐠💸 *You know what that means, fam? Bigger bills incoming, and it’s like watching your bank account do the cha-cha for no reason!* 💃💰 Verizon said “Loyalty? What’s that?” 😱 *Their three-year price lock? More like a three-month price escape plan.* 🏃‍♂️💨 *Basically, if you thought you were safe from the fee tsunami, you might as well be chillin’ on a sinking boat with that “this is fine” dog meme!* 🐶🔥 *But don’t worry, there are whispers of a leaked dev quote circulating: “Yeah, we just figured it’s more fun to watch customers seethe.”* 🤖💀 *You just KNOW they’re over there doing the Drake Pointing meme while counting their stonks, laughing at us lower mortals.* 🤣📈 So, here’s my hot take 🔥: By 2025, all carriers will offer a “Whale Watching” plan where you only pay for the amount you don’t deserve. 😵‍💫 *Loyalty is DEAD, on life support, and Verizon just sent it a bill in the mail.* 🚀 *Time to switch or get your cringe tax ready, fam!* *Share this if your loyalty just got dumpstered!* 🗑️✌️