🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: VCs are about to get ROLL’D UP like a burrito at your local Chipotle 🍔🌯💸! Yup, you heard it, fam. Thrive Capital and General Catalyst are taking a page from the Private Equity playbook 📖, and it's gonna be a CRINGE fest. This is like if your Aunt Karen suddenly decided to start a skincare line after binge-watching Shark Tank 💅🏾🤡. Leaked quote from a "source" (a.k.a my dog): "Roll-ups? More like roll-outs from the world of financial cringe. 💀" Meanwhile, Khosla Ventures and 8VC are side-eyeing these moves like, "isn't this just a fancy term for Monopoly but with real cash?" 🤔🤑 I mean, c’mon guys, we all know the only roll-up worth talking about is the one that comes with a side of guac! 🔥 But here's the REAL tea: “Savvy Wealth” sounds more like a spell from Harry Potter than a legit company name. “Expelliarmus? Nah, EXPANDIUS!” This is just a gilded path to the inevitable collapse, like that time your friend invested all their savings in NFTs and now has a digital monkey that looks like a potato. 🥔💔 Prediction: In 2024, we'll see a "Thrive Capital vs. General Catalyst" rap battle on TikTok, and it will go STONKS, or maybe LIT AF. Either way, the future is chaos - get your popcorn 🍿 ready! #RollUpOrShutUp 🚀✨