💰🚀 BREAKING: 1789 Capital is out here growing faster than my ex's excuses after I caught them lying. With Donald Trump Jr. in the mix (👀), they're now boasting over $1 BILLION in assets! That's right, folks—look out for the next generation of VCs sporting red MAGA hats and algorithmic trading tricks! 🤡💸 So, what's hot in these investor circles? They're throwing dough at projects like xAI (aka "Skynet but make it bougie"), Neuralink (because who needs to communicate when you can just bluetooth your thoughts?), and Perplexity (what's that? It's my brain trying to understand why we're still using Zoom?). 🧠✨ 🗣️ "It’s not like we get any special treatment from Don Jr.; we just send him a text and he literally throws money at our ideas because, you know...family!" 💀🔥 - Leaked VC Developer quote… But, fr fr, is this the dawn of a literal *Trump-tech* boom? Can we expect Neuralink to just connect us to TikTok directly next? 🥴👾 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2025, expect a new social app called "TrumpIt" where every post is an AI-generated MAGA meme that gives you stonks!! LFG, fam! Are you ready for that chaos?! 😱🤖 #MakeInvestingGreatAgain!