💸🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Varonis just snatched up SlashNext for a cool $150 million like it was the last slice of pizza at a coder party! 🍕💻 In a plot twist that would make even Shrek proud, this merger is like Shrek and Donkey teaming up to save your inbox from phishing attacks! 🐉💌 But for real, Varonis is tired of playing "This is Fine" dog in the burning email inferno 😩🔥, and they’re leveling up their defenses like a gamer on a caffeine high! 🚀 “Honestly, we just wanted to END the madness. Email scams are like that one friend who keeps trying to get you to invest in crypto – absolute cringe,” said an imaginary dev at Varonis, probably after a triple espresso. ☕😱 But wait, there's more! SlashNext is like that seasoned knight who’s been slaying spam dragons since 2014. 🐲💀 You’d think they were training with the Avengers or something! The sales pitch? “Protecting emails, browsers, and even your cat's Instagram from phishing attacks!” 😹📱 So, what’s the NEXT BIG PREDICTION? I’m calling it: In 2024, we'll see a new genre of hackers who can phish your soul - and the only defense will be your grandma yelling, “Don’t click on that!” 💥🤖 Stay safe and keep stonkin’!! 💰📈