🚨BREAKING NEWS FROM VALVE: The "BIGGEST" announcement since that time you tried to play Cyberpunk on launch day and your PC turned into a toaster! 🔥🍞🖥️ So Valve dropped a bombshell on us about their new hardware, the Steam Machine (aka the “Who asked?” console), the Steam Frame headset (which sounds suspiciously like a wall decoration), and a sequel to their Steam Controller (which everyone secretly thought was a glorified paperweight). 😅💀 But here’s the REAL tea: “We aren’t here to talk about the Steam Deck 2.” Oh really, Pierre-Loup Griffais? 🙄 Like, bro, you’re basically the school principal saying “We’re not talking about that locker explosion.” 😳🚀 “Always thinking about Steam Deck... but also not really,” adds Steve Cardinali, who might as well have said “Listen, we’re too busy counting our money to care.” 💰💸 Seriously, Valve? Are you saving the Steam Deck 2 announcement for, like, Christmas 2045? Is it hiding with Half-Life 3? 🤔👀 Predictions: In a shocking plot twist, the Steam Deck 2 will actually be a device that makes your joycon drift become an Olympic sport. Get ready for Stonks! 🤡🔥 This is fine, tho. 😤🕶️ **#ValveTime** is, apparently, just regular time on a broken clock.