🚨💰💥 BREAKING NEWS: The US Mint just decided to bless us all with a $1 coin featuring none other than Steve Jobs—a man who revolutionized tech while probably wearing a black turtleneck 🖤👕. Yup, you can now throw your pocket change at the future of innovation, one cringe-worthy coin at a time! 🪙✨ This minty fresh tribute, dropping in 2026, is gonna feature a young Jobs sitting cross-legged like he’s about to drop the next big tech philosophy while getting high on organic nature vibes 🌳🍃. “We believe this represents how he simplified our lives in a world that craves complexity and confusion,” said some imaginary Mint dude, probably wearing sandals with socks. Meanwhile, if I had a nickel for every time I thought “this is fine” while trying to unlock my iPhone 37 with Face ID 5.0 🥴🥴, I'd probably have enough to finance Apple’s next wildly overpriced product. So, the US Mint is basically flexing on us with this sweet tribute. But here’s where it gets spicy: *I predict* the demand for these coins will cause a *STONKS* moment, causing inflation so high that we might need to trade them for organic avocado toast instead. 🥑🚀💸 #NoCap Brace yourselves, we’re all about to be THAT guy with a coin collection that could’ve bought us a Tesla! 😅🔥💀