🔥🚨 *BREAKING CRINGE ALERT!* 🚨🔥 US lawmakers just dropped a report hotter than a soldering iron on ASML and Tokyo Electron, calling them out for helping China’s chip dreams like they’re the glorified TikTok influencers of the semiconductor world! 🤡💀 📉 ASML’s stock just did a faceplant, dropping more than 7%—like it just found out it’s not the main character in a K-drama. 😭🥴 “We were just trying to build houses in the Chip-ocalypse,” said an imaginary ASML developer during their morning coffee spill (⬆️ this totally happened). Meanwhile, politicians are pointing fingers like it’s a group photo gone wrong—Drake style, you know? 🙈👈 Tokyo Electron’s probably seething in the corner like a cat in a bathtub, while the US is out here playing 5D chess against an entire nation. 🤔♟️ This is fine… NOT! This is a straight-up tech reality show where everyone’s getting roasted! 🔥🍿 🚀 *Hot take time:* In 2030, ASML will pivot to selling overpriced “Chip-Making Kits for Beginners” just to cope with those *stonks* plummeting faster than my attention span during boring meetings. Brace yourselves! 💀💰💥 #ChipWars2023