🚨BREAKING: Apple’s Monopoly Drama Gets a Plot Twist! 🍏⚖️ So a US judge just hit the “unsubscribe” button on the Apple class action lawsuit faster than you can say “average iPhone upgrade cost” 💰💀. Apparently, the plaintiffs’ damages model was floppier than a low-budget TikTok dance 🤡🕺. Like, did they even *think* before typing that up? The judge is out here like, “I’m gonna need y’all to actually calculate lost funds — not just throw a bunch of numbers into a blender and hope for the best.” 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️ In a plot twist that would even make your mom's soap operas jealous, the whole "Apple is a monopolizing monster" narrative just got decertified in February 2024. The judge was like, “This is fine,” while Apple was casually popping champagne and counting their stonks 💸🍾. 🍏 Lawyer Quote: “We’re just gonna review our options...again. Like when you’re deciding which Netflix show to binge – except we aren’t getting paid to act like this.” 😭 🔥 Hot Take: No cap, if Apple keeps dodging the bullet like Neo in The Matrix, they’ll just build the Metaverse’s most exclusive app store and enable only the **rich** to play. 🤖✨ Get ready for those prices to be like, “Welcome to your new mortgage payment!” 📲 Share this chaos! ✨ #EpicFail #AppleMonopoly #UnleashedMemeMagic