🚨 BREAKING: US Government Goes Full Sherlock Holmes on Bitmain! 🕵️‍♂️💰 Listen up, fam! The U.S. is out here playing “Who’s That Spy?” with Bitmain, the overlords of Bitcoin-mining machines 🤖. You know, those gadgets that basically turn electricity into crypto cash 💸. But wait! Before you cop that new mining rig, the gov's on some detective vibes, probing if these machines are actually hiding spies or sabotage 💀. Sources say US investigators (cue the trench coat and magnifying glass) are worried they might be like a secret agent 🦸‍♂️ in your basement, plotting world domination while you’re just trying to get rich. Like, “What’s next?” Are we going to find little Chinese spies inside our GPUs? 🤡 Imagine a developer quote: "We just wanted to mine some Bitcoin, not accidentally summon the Cyber Ninja Army!" 😂💔 Listen, America, it's 2023, no cap, every company could be sending your data straight to the moon 🌝. This whole situation has “this is fine” energy written all over it. 🔥 Hot take: In a year, Bitcoin will be replaced by a new currency sourced from harvested gamer tears. STONKS will go to the galaxy! 🚀💸💀💰