🚨BREAKING NEWS: U.S. House Staff BANNED from WhatsApp!🚨 I know, I know... is it 2020 again?? 🤡💀 Apparently, the House finally decided it was tired of their staff "accidentally" spilling tea over the most secure messaging app since that time your grandma used a carrier pigeon. 🕊️ They just *had* to avoid any more "oopsies" like the time they tried to use TikTok for bipartisan communication. 🙃🤳 The folks in charge are like Drake pointing: 🚫📲 “No cap, you guys are NOT using WhatsApp!” Meanwhile, WhatsApp’s entire revenue model just seethed in a corner like "but what about my stonks?!" 💰🔥 And let’s be real, you know this was just a coverup for all the secret group chats about who’s making the best guacamole at the next potluck. 😏🥑 Just imagine: “I can’t let my colleagues see this meme about my cat's latest TikTok dance moves!” 😹 Leaked developer quote? “If you think our policies are cringe, just wait until we start using pigeon post!” ✈️💌 💥Hot take: By 2025, they'll be communicating via smoke signals or interpretive dance, and you’d better start practicing those moves! Wouldn’t wanna be the last one on the dance floor, right? 💃🤪