🚨📱BREAKING: The US Government is on a mission, *and it ain’t to catch Pokémon! 🎮* Nope, they want to snoop on us like it’s an episode of *Black Mirror*! 😱💀 So, here’s the tea ☕: Customs and Border Protection (CBP) is hunting for some super-secret *forensic tool* to dig through your WhatsApp chats and find hidden languages 🕵️‍♂️🔍. Yup, like they’re all Sherlock Holmes but instead of mysteries, they’re just trying to decode your emoji-filled messages about pizza 🍕 and cat memes 🐱💔. As one leaked developer allegedly said: “Y’all trying to find hidden language? Bruh, just ask my mom—she talks in 15 layers of sarcasm and only communicates in GIFs!” 😂🚀 Listen, if this isn’t a cringe-worthy attempt at digital eavesdropping, I don’t know what is. It’s like trying to find meaning in your ex’s texts while you’re just over here vibing. 🤷‍♂️✨ But while we're all "This Is Fine" dog-ing our way through API nightmares, here's the real kicker: in 2024 the CBP will *unlock actual alien language* from Area 51 via TikTok influencer trends. 👽🔥 Stay tuned, and remember: **stonks** in privacy are diving faster than your WiFi when Netflix starts buffering! 📉💀 #SnoopGate #HiddenLanguages #ScanMyMemes #WeWuzTraced 😤📲