🚨🤖💸 BREAKING: The US Just Became Spyware's DADDY! 💸🤖🚨 You heard it here first, fam! 🇺🇸💥 The United States has officially leveled up and is now the BIGGEST BALLER in the commercial spyware game! Not even Israel could keep up with Uncle Sam, who's racking up more investments than that one friend who always forgets their wallet at dinner. 🍕💵 *This is fine* meme plays in the background. Now, with 20 new spies—err, investors—jumping in, we’re at a whopping total of 31 American backers ready to put on their sunglasses and surveil the whole planet! 😎👀 Just in time for the next season of “Guess Who’s Watching You” starring *everyone*! 🎬📺 💬 Leaked Developer Quote: “Honestly, we were just trying to make the next TikTok, but now we’re like, ‘Let’s track your grandma’s grocery list instead’.” 😂 It's wild out here! Are we getting closer to living in a real-life episode of Black Mirror, or have we already jumped the shark? 🦈🔥 Final hot take: By 2030, I predict your smart fridge will have a better grasp on your bad life choices than your therapist—COPE and SEETHE if you disagree! 💀💀💀 #staywoke #spyware4life