🚨🎲💥 Y’all buckle up because the US DOJ just turned poker night into *Ocean's Eleven* but with more hackers and fewer Brad Pitts! 🤡💀💸 So, here's the tea ☕—our boy DeckMate, the overpriced suitcase-sized card shuffler ($10k?! For *that*?!) just got hacked like a cheap WiFi password 🔓🥴. Apparently, some zoomers decided that cheat codes were for video games ONLY, but now they’re using ‘em at a poker table! 🎮➡️♠️ Meme alert! 😱🤑 This indictment reads like a Netflix series but with 100% more NBA drama and Mob vibes. Like bruh, if you thought your Friday night poker games were lit, just wait until the FBI starts dropping the 🔥 on your hand! Imagine the developer working on this DeckMate shuffler, sweating bullets like, "What's my life come to?!" 😂 “We NEVER built a backdoor… that just *happened*!" Oh really? 🤔💀 In conclusion, forget the Matrix. The future of gaming is now: *cheat to win or cry in the corner*. 🤷‍♂️🔥 As for my hot take? By 2025, we'll all be using VR glasses and hacking our way through life like it’s an episode of *Black Mirror*. 💻💥 #Stonks #MemeLord #PokerFace 🃏