🤑💰🔋💀 BREAKING CHAOS ALERT! The US DOE just slapped down a whopping $1 BILLION 💵 for Constellation to bring the Three Mile Island nuclear plant back from the dead like it’s a zombie in a low-budget horror movie. 🎬👻 #ThrillerVibes Why does Microsoft need nuke juice? 🤔 To power their ambitious AI plans of course! 🤖💡 You know they're planning to unleash an AI overlord that writes code and roasts your programming skills at the same time—this is fine, right? 😅🔥 Leaked Dev Quote: "Honestly, I'd rather plug my laptop into a toaster. But hey, who doesn’t want a nuclear reactor powering their memes? 🤷‍♂️🔌 #Stonks" So, tuck your tinfoil hats on, folks, because this is about to get spicy! 🌶️💥 As if Microsoft's Azure wasn't already powerful enough, now they're getting their energy straight from the radioactive fountain of youth. 🧙‍♂️✨ Futuristic Prediction: By 2030, Microsoft will release a Windows update so powerful it’ll literally open a wormhole—watch out! The world’s about to go full “Drake pointing” at those who thought renewable energy was the wave! 📈🚀🤯 #NuclearFlex Share this while you can still feel your face! 🤯🤡