🚨BREAKING NEWS FROM THE LAND OF THE CYBER WARRIORS 🚨 🔥👾 So, like, remember when we thought the US Cyber Command and the NSA would *finally* break up? Well, the Trump administration was like “nah, fam, let’s keep this dysfunctional duo together” 🤡💀. Like a tech romcom no one asked for! 💔💻 Sources say they decided it was “too complex” to separate these tech titans. Is it complex, or are they just lazy AF? 🤷‍♂️💤 Stonks dropped just like my self-esteem during a Zoom call when someone asks to screen-share the slides!! 📉😩 Let’s be real, if you think managing these two agencies is like herding cats, you’re not ready for the chaos of trying to split them! The only thing scarier than a hack at the NSA is their TikTok dances! 💃🚀 “Leaked” developer quote: “Breaking them up is like trying to uninstall Internet Explorer – it’s been done a thousand times, and it always gets messy!” 🤣💩 🔥🔥 So here’s my unhinged take: By 2030, they'll merge with Space Force, and we’ll have cyber astronauts using Windows 98 to hack aliens. Buckle up, kiddos! 👽💻💰 #TheFutureIsScary #CyberChaos #DoomScrollForLife