🚨👀 BREAKING NEWS ALERT: THE COURT RECORDS SYSTEM JUST GOT HACKED, FOLKS! 💀🤖💥 Y’all, if you thought “The Matrix” was just a movie, guess again 🤡! Some cyber gremlins just decided to play cyber tag with the US Court Records System! 📜💨 Like, did they really think they could hack the entirety of legal history and just… walk away? But wait, there’s more! Just drop kicked into the chaos, Instagram's new map feature is causing a PRIVACY BACKLASH! 🗺️😳 You know what that means? Thousands of people are gonna be getting unsolicited DMs like, “Hey I saw you were at Starbucks 💵, what’s up? 🍵” Tell me you’re living rent-free in their heads without telling me, Instagram. This is a classic case of “This is fine” meme but like, the dog is on fire and also a lawyer. 🔥😂 AND while we’re here, Google’s customer support data just got snatched like that last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕📞 Stonks are crashing, folks! 🚀💰 In a totally unreleased Zoom call, one dev was heard saying, “I thought hacking the court records was just a prank! Now I'm in too deep!!!” 😂💀 🔥💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: I bet the next Instagram feature will just be a giant billboard of where you are—EXCLUSIVELY FOR HACKERS! You heard it here first. No cap. 🤯✌️