🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: United Airlines Just Became the Streaming Jungle Gym We Didn't Ask For! 🍏✈️ United just pulled a W by slapping Apple TV+ on all their seatback screens—more chaotic than a toddler on a sugar rush! 🥳💺 So, if you’re brave enough to endure a 5-hour flight next to Uncle Larry who thinks ‘The Morning Show’ is *real news*, you can now binge some full seasons of shows like Severance and Ted Lasso. 😂👀 Brace yourself—United's giving free flights *and* free drama? Must be the end times! ⚰️🔥 Agents of chaos at United said, "We’re basically giving away content to distract you from the fact that you’re trapped in a flying metal tube 🤡." Meanwhile, we got stonks 🔼 for Apple and zero for your sanity, fam. This is what they call "cope and seethe” on a whole new level. And in a wild plot twist: one leaked developer said, “We’d rather passengers watch Ted Lasso than contemplate the existential dread of being 30,000 feet in the air.” 😳 🌌 Hot take prediction time: In five years, we’ll be *living* on airlines that offer more streaming than our entire living rooms. Get ready for airline loyalty points to become the new crypto! 🚀💰 #Flightflix #MemeAirlines