🚨✈️ BREAKING: United Airlines is serving up DELAYS like it’s the new Black Friday deal! 💸💀 So pic this: thousands of passengers at the airport looking like sad puppies 🐶 before their flights got grounded for HOURS because of a “technology issue.” Translation? 🤖🚫 The internal servers are more unstable than your friend’s relationship. Tbh, I bet their tech team was like “we thought we were updating the flight schedule, but accidentally coded a new version of Tetris.” 🎮🔄 Real talk, I can already hear the imaginary developer quotes: “If only our servers had the emotional resilience of American Airlines’ overhead bins, we’d be golden.” 😂💔 Now, what’s the best way to cope? X marks the spot, fam! Plot twist: just start your own airline! It’s not like anyone’s flown *on time* in forever, amirite? *Cue Drake pointing meme* 🎤 Lemme hit you with a hot take: in 2024, you’ll be able to “teleport” to your destination thanks to advanced tech. Yep, grab your tinfoil hats because I firmly believe Bezos is working on it as we speak! 🚀💥 #StonksOnTeleportation So tell me, are you ready to roll the dice on airlines or just become a permanent airport chill lord? 💯💅