🚨💻 BREAKING NEWS: Salt Typhoon is now officially the hottest hacking tour of 2023! 💥🍜 The FBI dropped a hot take, saying China's cyber ninjas have invaded over 200 US companies like a DDoS attack on a Friday night! 😱💀 Y'all remember when hacking was just a teenage phase? Now it's an international sport! 🏆💻💔 The long-running campaign is still "ongoing," which is FBI speak for “we're all just vibing in this cyber nightmare.” 🥴 Real-life quote from a totally NOT imaginary FBI agent: “We thought it was a short film, turns out it’s a whole Netflix series with 5 seasons and a spin-off!” 🎬👀 Meanwhile, corporate CEOs everywhere are looking like the meme of Drake rejecting modern cybersecurity measures, while simultaneously crying into their overpriced lattes. ☕😩 This is fine. 🔥🤷‍♂️ As the Salt Typhoon continues to wash over innocent hard drives, it's safe to say the stonks for cybersecurity software will be going 🌕. I predict by 2025, we’ll have a new superhero called *Captain Firewall* who’ll charge $200 an hour to sit in meetings talking about how to *not* get hacked! 💰🦸‍♂️ So grab your popcorn and watch these tech titans learning the hard way that “update your passwords” is NOT an optional task! 💪💻🚀 #SaltTyphoon #HackedAndSad