🌪️💥 Tech world is going full rollercoaster, and honestly we’re all just trying to keep our lunch down 🎢🤮. So grab your popcorn, because 2025 is here and it’s like if *This Is Fine* turned into *Please Call Someone* 🔥😂. 🧠💭 According to big brains at Deloitte (aka the folks who make graphs for fun), we gotta live in the moment, near, and next, which sounds like something a Zen monk would say 🧘‍♂️💸. Meanwhile, Startup Genome dropped some spicy tea 🍵: Beijing, LA, and Tokyo are riding the stonks rocket 📈🚀, while Paris is just sitting there like “I’ll wait” and the rest of Europe is declining faster than your hope for humanity after scrolling through Twitter 🥲. Someone in a hushed corner of a coffee shop could be overheard saying, *“We invest more than a 2020 TikTok dance challenge and still get ghosted!”* 💀🤖. Like, come on. French startups looking flat is basically their brand now—bonjour, cringe! 🥖😅 💡💰NFTs will soon be out, and tech cos will pivot to *Real Estate for Virtual Cats* next year. Prepare your wallets and get ready to see creativity hit the ‘student loan’ level of desperation—based vibes only! 😩💸💀