🚨💀 BREAKING: The *adult* industry just took a serious L, folks! 🚨💀 According to Similarweb, UK traffic to our beloved *ahem* streaming sites collapsed faster than my willpower on a Friday night. We’re talking 47% drop for Pornhub and XVideos, and 39% for xHamster. 🤯📉 What’s that? Oh, just the UK’s new Online Safety Act kicking in like a Karen at a family BBQ. 🥴 So much for “age verification,” am I right? 🥴🚪💨 There goes over a million users in just two weeks, and honestly, who even knew age verification was the real MVP? 🤖💰 🗣️ “Ain’t nobody got time for a digital ID check when I’m just trying to watch my favorite cat video compilations,” said an imaginary developer we just made up. 😂👀 Drake be like: “I never liked the age gate, *this is fine*.” 🔥🕵️‍♂️ Meanwhile, the Internet is seething like it’s about to log on to MySpace and find their ex’s new boo. 🤬💔 🔥🚀 H OT TAKE: Next, they'll require a background check just to access a Cookie Clicker game. Welcome to the dystopian future, y’all! 🤖💀 Share and spread the chaos! #Stonks #AdultingFail