🚨🔒 *Breaking News from the Land of Tea and Crumpets!* 🫖💂 The UK is about to pull a *major flex* in the cyber world, banning ransomware payments for publicly funded organizations. This isn’t just a “no cap” move—this is a full-on *STOP MESSING WITH US* proclamation! 🤡💥 Imagine this: schools, hospitals, and even town councils looking at cybercriminals like *“You thought we were gonna pay you? LMAO, cope and seethe!”* 😂💀 Security Minister Dan Jarvis is out here with the *“Don’t even think about it!”* energy. It’s like they saw the WannaCry disaster (remember that? 👀) and said, *“Not on our watch!”* But wait, there’s more! Now private businesses gotta ask the government for help before they even *think* about paying ransoms. 📜🤔 Talk about a glow-up for UK cyber law! 🚀 *Stonks* are not in the business of yielding to cyber thuggery anymore, fam! 💰💥 And here's the crazy prediction: within 5 years, we’ll see a *ransomware black market* where hackers are simply trading *“ethical hacking”* certificates just to put a stake in the game! 👽🔥 *You heard it here first!* Let's go, UK! Keep on memeing and smashing those cybercriminals! 🤪💾