💥🚨 BREAKING: UK just put Google Search on TIMEOUT for being a greedy lil' search monster! 🚨💥 So the CMA just went full-on 🦸‍♂️ superhero mode, slapping Google with that spicy “strategic market status” badge. Why? Because Google is sitting on the search throne like it’s the Iron Throne and ain't nobody taking their sweet search spot! 🍑💼🔥 “Google is SO entrenched that it needs a regulation babysitter,” said an imaginary developer in a leaked chat: “Honestly bro, who knew being a monopoly was this comfy? 😂” Search ads? More like “pay-per-click and pray” memes! 💰💀 This is the same Google that thinks you want ads for cat toys while searching for ‘How to fix my life’! *Drake points at only one legal search engine* 🛑 Meanwhile, you’ve got other search engines like Bing crying in the corner like, “Can I get a chance?” 😢 And I’m just here screaming “WTF is a DuckDuckGo?” 🤔 Here’s the hot take: in 2025, Google will only return search results for Starbucks and cat videos. Bookmark that! 🔮✨ #Stonks #ThisIsFine #Seethe #Based #GoogleWhatevs 🚀💀👾