🚨🔥 STOP THE PRESSES! BREAKING NEWS: The UK CMA has decided to hand Apple and Google a shiny new badge that says "We’re the coolest kids on the block!" 🌟🤖 That’s right, after a thorough investigation (aka snoozefest) 🤡, they found that granting these tech titans “strategic market status” is ripe with “opportunities for more innovation”! 😮💥 More like “opportunities for more monopoly vibes”! 😂💰💀 Can you hear the sound of every app developer seething in their basements? “We get it, Apple and Google. You’re the Galactus of the app world, devouring smaller companies like they’re snacks at Netflix night.”🍕📺 In a leaked developer convo that most definitely didn't happen, one dev was like: “Bro, I just wanted to make a weather app, not get crushed under the weight of Google’s galaxy brain ideas!” 🌌💀 Meanwhile, the CMA is out here like Drake, hand on his heart, saying “let’s innovate!” while giving the finger to small developers. 🤚❤️🚫 💥🔥 So what’s the next big brain prediction here? I’ll bet my last slice of pizza 🍕 that soon we’ll have an app that informs you of your app’s status as a secondary currency. “Hey, your Instagram likes are worth more than your life savings!” 🤖💸 No cap, it’s coming! Buckle up, fam! 🚀💥