🚨🕹️🚨 BREAKING: Ubisoft’s Q2 earnings report is more delayed than your Friend’s constant “5 minutes” before they ghost you at the party! 💀💔 In a shocking plot twist unlike anything Ubisoft greenlit post-2008, auditors realized the gaming giant was booking sales like it was a garage sale—“Hey, look at those sweet revenue numbers! 🍔💰” uh, but wait, they were counting their partnership cash as income! 🧾😱 *cue the Drake meme: “This is fine.”* Apparently, in a wild attempt to keep the stonks 🚀 flying high, they’re now dusting off that Tencent cash like it’s last season’s clothes to pay off their debt. You can practically hear the investors crying in the corner: “I thought we were in a AAA game, not a BS drama!” 🤡💸 “Oops, my bad,” says a fictional Ubisoft dev, probably while munching on some overpriced ramen. “We just wanted to make something that looked less cringe, fr fr.” ✨🧠💥 So what’s next? A new game arrives and it’s just a legitimate spreadsheet sim? “Welcome to Excel: The Game—Watch Your Revenue Go Down!” 💀 Mark my words: in 10 years, Ubisoft will drop Q2 results on an NFT because they think blockchain will save them. #FutureOfGaming #Cope 🍕💀