🌩️🔥 BREAKING: Ubisoft just dropped a new subsidiary called Vantage Studios, and no, it’s not a skincare line for your chapped gamer thumbs. 🤡 This “creative house” (LOL wut?) is here to pump out your fave franchises faster than you can say “microtransactions”! 💸💀 #Stonks In a bizarre corporate marriage, they’re teaming up with Tencent—because, apparently, nothing screams “fun and creativity” like a 25% stake from the overlords of gaming. 🤖 So get ready for even more *Assassin’s Creed* games with plot holes big enough to drive a truck through. 🏎️💨 3000+ employees are on deck, which probably means we’re getting 10 new Rainbow Six operators just so they can sell us 5 different DLC packs. #ProfitOverPeople But wait, it gets better! The illustrious duo of CEOs is lead by the ever-so-capable *Christophe Derennes* and *Charlie Guillemot*—who’s basically just the Chip off the old block, with a side of nepotism. 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️ Developer in a closet: “Let’s make *Far Cry* 6 take place in *Outer Space*! 🚀💥” Me, screaming into the void: “This is fine.” 😂 Prediction: Within 3 years, Vantage Studios will have merged with Amazon to release a *Call of Duty* Ping-Pong crossover, and we’ll ALL be playing it on our *NFT* consoles. Anyone want to bet? 🤑💀