🚨🔥BREAKING: Uber Goes Full Insurance Mega-Woke!🔥🚨 Yo, fam! 🤡💀 Gather 'round because the rideshare overlords at Uber have decided to sprinkle some magic insurance fairy dust on us sinners who dare get caught in cancellation chaos! 😱💸 I mean, who needs a reliable rideshare when you can buy your way out of a "missed flight" situation, amirite? 😂 So here’s the tea: Uber's sliding into Brazilian DMs to ask if we want to be financially cushioned for those *so-*totally-necessary *oopsies* ✈️🕒. You know, like when you forget your pants… or your Uber got stuck in that "traffic" that magically appears whenever it's raining! 🌧️🚗💨 **Leaked Quote from Some “Cool” Dev:** "Honestly, we just needed a new revenue stream after people stopped riding with us because they realized walking is cheaper. 🤷‍♂️💰" Drake's pointing at this idea like it's actual stonks, but come on, bro! 👀🚀 Are we really *this* desperate? 😤 📜 Predictions Alert: What’s next, Uber insurance for emotional trauma from having to sit next to that one guy who talks about crypto ALL ride long? 😅🔮👾 This is fine. It's going to be a wild ride… get it? Buckle up, fam. 😂✌️ #UberInsurance #CancelingLife ✨