🚗💨 BREAKING: Uber is going full Robotaxi mode, like they're the Kleenex of autonomous ridesharing! 🧻😱 Forget who actually built the tech—it's all about getting you to swipe right on that Uber app faster than you can say “$20 surge pricing!” 🚀 #Stonks Imagine this convo between Uber execs 😂: 👨‍💼 CEO: "Guys, how can we keep people in our ecosystem?" 👨‍💻 Dev: "What if we make it impossible to call a robotaxi if they use any other app?" 👩‍🎤 Marketing: "BRB. Crafting a TikTok dance trend to promote it!" 💃💀 This is fine...just fine. 🔥🔥 People, seriously, if you think riding in a car driven by a computer sounds safe, let me remind you of Windows Vista! 💻💥 You're trusting an algorithm that probably still uses *that one guy's* college project from 2015. 🔥😳 👀 So here's the hot take: In 5 years, Uber will legally change its name to UberEats but for robotaxis, and their slogan will be "You can't spell 'Robotaxi' without ‘U’ and ‘E’"! 🤖💀 Mark your calendars! Get ready to hit that share button and level up your meme game! 💥🔥💰