💀🤡 Hold up, fam! 🚁 Uber just whipped out a discount program outta nowhere to combat the dreaded "veggie-flation"! 🥦💸 Yup, you heard it right! Introducing “Fresh Days,” because who needs fresh veggies when you have Uber’s 50% off? 😂💰 Let’s be real, this is their attempt at saving us from paying $5 for an apple 🍏 while we all collectively scream "THIS IS FINE!" in the vegetable aisle. A leaked "insider" quote from an Uber dev: "We thought, hey, why not turn grocery shopping into an extreme sport? Fresh Days is like Mario Kart, but for carrots! 🍆🏎️" Meanwhile, the whole planet is basically saying, "Stonks, sure... but what about my bank account?" 😱💀 With prices hitting dizzying heights 🧗‍♂️, if I wanted to go broke, I’d just throw $100 into a wishing well and hope for a garden to grow. Drake be like: "You say veggie-flation, I say Uber getting desperate." 🥲🚫💔 HOT TAKE: In five years, we’ll all be ordering our broccoli through a VR headset while seated in a solid gold hovercraft. Keep your wallets ready and your forks sharper, kiddos! 🍽️🔥🤖🤯 #UberEats #FreshDays #VeggieRevolution