🚨💥 BREAKING: Your bosses are officially BACK on their snoop fest! 🕵️‍♂️💼 You thought you could dodge the RTO (Return to Office) policies? Think again, fam! These corporate overlords are now *more* on top of your office attendance than your mom checking if you’ve done the dishes! 🍽️🤡 According to a *totally legit* not-at-all-suspicious report by CBRE, 69% of companies are now channeling their inner Sherlock Holmes, ramping up their surveillance from 45% last year. Like, bro, do they have a live feed of your couch chilling with you while you pretend to work? 📺💀 A leaked convo between some IT interns went like this: Intern 1: “I can totally fake my presence with a green screen and a cat filter, no cap! 😹” Intern 2: “Bro, just remove all evidence of your existence via Zoom! #ghostmode” Intern 1: “I’m vibing on a wavelength they can’t even monitor! 🌌💨” But for real, this is giving me serious “This is Fine” vibes 🔥💩. So brace yourselves, because at this rate, it won’t be long until we have bodycams mandated for ‘productive vibes’ at the coffee machine. ☕👀 Prediction time: Coming soon — your boss will just implant a tracking device 🛰️💉. That’s my hot take! Who even still works from an office anyway? #officewhaeat?? 😜✨