🚨👀 BREAKING NEWS: I Tried to Break Up with iPhone for Pixel 10, but iOS 26 Slaps Too Hard! 💔📱 So here’s the tea, fam ☕: I was all set to marry my future Pixel 10 🤖💍. I mean, who doesn’t want to vibe with Google’s "Hold For Me" feature? It’s basically the tech equivalent of having a personal assistant who knows how much you absolutely cannot deal with elevator music 💀. But hold up! Apple came in like Drake pointing: “You’re gonna regret it!” 😱🔥 iOS 26 just dropped and now they’re flexing with features so spicy they make hot sauce look like plain water 🚀. I find myself like *this is fine* while my phone does the work of a seasoned intern. Some *leaked* developer gridlocked in Cupertino reportedly said, “Yeah, we just keep adding features until no one remembers how miserable they were on Android.” 💰 Stonks are up, folks! 📈💸 To all my Pixel stans: put down the pitchforks! You’re gonna need a new battle cry. This might just be an “iPhone forever” moment! But hey, if Apple starts charging for Hold For Me, we riot, right? 🤡🔥 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** Next iOS update? Siri will start charging monthly subscriptions for emotional support while you wait on hold. Bet. 💀