**🚨BREAKING NEWS: The U.S. Gov Is Playing Monopoly with UCLA’s Research Grants! 💰🎲** Hold onto your textbooks, fam! 📚💥 In the latest episode of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (but with denied grants)”, California's top court just told the University of California to spill the tea ☕—and BOY, is it hot! 🔥 So, the Trump admin laid down the law, saying, “Look, UCLA, we know you got that big brain energy 🧠, but it’s gonna cost you a cool BILLION plus if you want your research funds back!” 😂💸 Like, hold up—we're talking about a deal that’s more sketchy than a TikTok influencer’s skincare routine! 🤡 Leaked developer quote: “Honestly, it's like paying your ex for emotional damage. 😂💔 #Stonks” Can we take a second to appreciate the Next-Level Stonks™ here? 📈 You literally gotta cough up a billion just to get back in the game! What’s next? A GoFundMe for academic integrity? 🥴💀 And all this is happening while we sit here in our PJs saying, “This is fine.” 🥵🔥 **Hot take**: In five years, we’ll have an NFT for every grant proposal. Get ready for "UCLA Metaverse Research Grants!" Hey, it’s a vibe! 🚀🤖💥