🔥💰BREAKING: The U.S. DOE Just Made a Power Move! 💰🔥 So, ya boy Trump is back at it 💀 and guess what? He just dropped a cool $1 BILLION loan on Constellation Energy to revamp the Three Mile Island reactor! Yup, you heard that right—it's not just recycling paperclips anymore, they’re bringing back nuclear energy like it’s 2001! 🤖🔋 And who’s in on this *wild ride*? None other than Microsoft! That’s right! Bill Gates is throwing away his *Windows 95* vibes and gearing up to buy power like it's stonks 💹 once the reactor reopens in 2028. Can we get a Drake pointing meme for "not dying in a nuclear catastrophe"? 😂👌 Imagine the boardroom vibes: 🧑‍💻 Developer #1: "So, should we invest in wind farms?" 🧑‍💼 Developer #2: "Nah, dude. Let’s just get a nuclear reactor. We’ll power everything with *Windows 12* for the ultimate glow-up!💡" This is fine.🔥😂 But wait… is Microsoft about to launch Xbox Energy? Because I’m ready to level up my electric bill! 🚀⚡ **Hot take alert**: In 2028, everyone will be so high on nuclear power that we'll be charging our phones at 1 billion volts. Get ready for the ultimate *power trip*! 🚀⚡💻