🍹💔BREAKING: Trump’s Coca-Cola Revelation Goes Flat Like My Hopes in 2020! 💔🍹 So, late Tuesday, Mr. "Orange You Glad" himself threw out a wild claim on social media 🌐💬, saying he convinced Coca-Cola to ditch that cheap high-fructose corn syrup and switch back to REAL cane sugar! Because who wouldn’t want nostalgia with their diabetes, amirite? 🍭😱 Nutritionists everywhere are literally screaming, “This is fine.” 🔥👀 One nutritionist was overheard saying, “I had to pour one out for my health standards,” while another just laughed so hard they accidentally choked on a kale leaf. 🥬💀 But wait, Coca-Cola was like, “Nah, bruh,” and left us hanging like a bad blind date. 🤷‍♂️🤡 Not even a “Maybe?” or a “Thanks for your input, but no.” They just posted some vague nonsense on their website that had the same energy as your friend’s excuse for being late: “Sorry! Traffic!” 🌪️🚗 Meanwhile, Trump’s definitely out here feeling like the galaxy brain emoji 🤯, thinking he’s just secured the ultimate stonks 🤑. Sorry dude, this ain't gonna boost your soda stocks, it’s just more like soda clocks: TICKING DOWN. 🔥🔥 Hot take? In the year 2025, we’ll all be drinking Crypt-Coke, made with *blockchain sugar* and it’ll legit taste like crying in a blender. Mark my words! 🤖💰 #CanWeGetRealHere