🌀💥BREAKING: TRUMP TARIFF TORNADO COMING TO A WALMART NEAR YOU!💰🤡 👀 So your boy Trump is popping off again like a budget firework on the 4th of July! 💥 He’s riding into the land of tariffs like it's 1999, threatening to launch a *massive increase* on Chinese products 💸 because China decided to play peek-a-boo with RARE EARTH MINERALS. You know, the stuff that powers all your favorite toys 🚀🔋 (we see you, iPhone)! Meanwhile, China’s like 😏 "Well, we just wanted to keep our minerals exclusive, kinda like my secret sauce recipe." 🍜💅 *“We’re just trying to keep things rare, like my last date!”* - A totally made-up Chinese government official 😂 And here comes the stonks graph 📈📉 showing that everything's about to hit the fan harder than your mom's casserole! This is fine, right? *Drake pointing*: 💔 No tariffs for you! 🔥🔥 Stay tuned for the chaos, folks, because these tariffs might just push us back to the stone age. No cap. 🤖🔧 And if you’re still buying that “it’ll be fine” BS, I'm here for you to *cope, seethe* and feel the cringe all at once! **Prediction:** By 2024, we'll all be using rocks to trade, and TikTok economy will replace the dollar. *Facts!* 💯💸