💥BREAKING NEWS: Trump Goes Full Crypto 👑🚀💰💀 Listen up fam! Just when you thought 401(k) plans couldn’t get any more boring than watching paint dry, here comes Trump with a **executive order** that’s about to throw them into the wild west of CRYPTO 🌌! That’s right, folks! Soon your retirement savings could be riding the Bitcoin rollercoaster 🎢 instead of snoozing in some dusty old bonds. *Stonks?* More like *stonks but make it crypto* 🤡🔥 Sources (aka my friend Tim who watched too many YouTube videos) say the Donald is ready to unleash the Kraken of alternative investments right into your retirement accounts. Because who wouldn’t want to gamble their future on meme coins and Dogecoin? 😭🐶💔 “I just want to make 401(k)s lit again,” said an imaginary developer who definitely didn’t exist. “But like, why not let people throw cash at NFTs too? #Based.” 🔮 Hot take: In a year, we'll be investing our 401(k)s in virtual real estate on Mars. *This is fine* 🌌🔥. So get ready to cringe and cope, because your grandma’s 401(k) might end up as the next NFT rug pull! Stay woke, my friends! 🚀 #Crypto4Ever #RetirementIsTheNewMartini