🚨BREAKING NEWS, FAM!🚨 TikTok's about to get the Trump stamp of approval! 💼🏛️ Let me hit you with the deets: Our boy Donald is signing a deal on Thursday that’ll keep TikTok alive and twerking in the U.S. That's right, the app that sends our parents into existential crises is BACK, baby! 🎉💃 And guess who's playing superhero? 🦸‍♂️ *drum roll* Oracle (yep, the corporate dinosaur) is stepping in as the "data keeper" 🤖💾—because when you think *fun*, who better than a tech company known for its confusing databases? LOL! 🤡🔥 Silver Lake is rolling in too, with cash that’ll make your head spin faster than a TikTok dance challenge. 💰💸 But wait! 🤔 Lemme drop some "leaked" quotes from the backroom negotiations: “We just want to sell your data, not your soul!” 💀 - Oracle CEO probably. And you KNOW someone in the meeting was like, "Can we make TikTok’s algorithm even weirder?" 😂 Prediction time, fam: this deal is either gonna make Oracle the next stonks meme or it’ll go down in flames like that funny dog in the “This is Fine” meme. 🔥👉🐶 In short: Brace for more cringey TikTok dances and questionable trends, U.S. – we’re in for a WILD ride! 🚀💀 #TikTok2024 #TrumpTok