🚨🚨 BREAKING: Trump JUST pardoned Changpeng Zhao, aka the Crypto Kingpin 💰🤴✨ After four months in the slammer for allegedly playing footsie with money laundering while running Binance 🤑💸, the man is back like your favorite Netflix show that should've been canceled! 📺🔄 And you know what? Zhao's getting out just in time to ride the next stonk wave 🏄‍♂️🚀💸! Imagine him in prison, surrounded by the same tech bros who had a "to the moon" poster in their cells 🤡🔥. Here’s a hot take: “I’m just here for the memes,” said a *totally* real developer during a recent leaked Zoom call, who definitely isn’t Changpeng Zhao in disguise 🤖💻. “I mean, money laundering is so last season, bro, we’re just trying to create the next big decentralized meme coin. LOL 😂💀” But let’s keep it real; this pardon makes as much sense as a Chia Pet NFT 🤷‍♂️. What’s next? Unforgivable crimes become a "get out of jail free" card? 🃏🤣 🔮 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, we’ll find out that all of crypto was just an elaborate prank for a reality show called "Survivor: Blockchain Edition" where the winner gets a lifetime supply of BlockFi T-shirts. STONKS! 😱💥💀 #ThisIsFine