🚨 **BREAKING NEWS: Trump Goes Full STONKS with Intel** 🚨 Hold on to your RGB keyboards, folks! 🖥️💥 The U.S. government just dropped an eye-watering $8.9 BILLION on Intel! 💰 That’s a 9.9% stake—like a stock market yolo but with more red tape than a DIY project! 🔥💀 Apparently, Trump was vibing at a press conference, like “yo fam, check out this mega deal!” Meanwhile, Intel is basically the new Thanos of the chipset universe collecting those grant Infinity Stones. 😤💎 The cash flow is coming from some *magic* grants under the 2022 CHIPS Act—$5.7 billion—because obviously, FREE MONEY is the real American dream! And let’s not forget the extra $3.2 billion from the Secure Enclave program, whatever that means (sounds like a secret lair from a Bond movie, fr fr) 🕵️‍♂️💼. 🔊 *“Bro, we've literally secured the bag,”* claimed a once-in-a-blue-moon anonymous Intel developer when asked about this AUTHENTIC move. “How do we even cope with this level of government funding, it’s wild!” 😅 In conclusion, bet your entire crypto wallet that next week: Intel will release a new chip infused with MAGA vibes. That’s right, **TrumpFlavored Chipsets™**, because why not? 🔮🚀🤖🔥🤡 Newsflash: BY 2025, tech giants will be giving speeches narrating how they turned into political parties. Let's hope they have good wifi. #MemeTheSystem