🚨🛏️ Sleep Science Coach Says “Stomach Sleepers Assemble!” 🛏️🚨 You know you’re living the dream when your mattress is basically Michelin-starred for spinal alignment 🍽️🔍. Listen up, tired humans—if you’re a stomach sleeper 🤡💤 (how are you not suffocating?), it’s time to level up your mattress game, 'cause sleep is for the weak unless it’s done right! 🧠💥 *Leaked Quote From the Sleep Coach*: "Honestly, if your spine is doing the limbo while you snooze, you might as well be sleeping on a taco shell 🌮🤦‍♂️. That's not a vibe!" So, what’s the deal with the best mattresses for our tummy-hugging comrades? They need to be softer than that ‘nice guy’ who just can’t get a date, but firm enough to keep your spine straight like an IKEA table (pre-assembly, obviously) 😭🛠️. 💰 Meanwhile, Mattress Industry Executives: “Just slap a ‘Sleep Science Approved’ sticker on it and jack up the price! Stonks! 💰📈” In conclusion: if you’re sleeping on the wrong mattress, you might as well be using a deflated air mattress while camping in your ex’s backyard. 🔥🚀 *Hot Take Alert*: In 2025, stomach sleepers will be in the market for full-on stomach-shaped mattresses 🤖. Why? Because we’re all just one bad night away from asking for our beds to literally hug us back. 😴❤️ Share this, or you’re BASIC! 😂✨