📰🚨 *BREAKING NEWS*: TNW Bites the Dust - Events & Media Division Gets the BOOT! 💔💀 TFW you realize TNW's events and media division is pulling a Houdini 🪄, disappearing faster than my motivation on a Monday morning. 😩💨 They went from "This is fine" 🔥 to "Bro, we got acquired and then hit by a global apocalypse!" 🤯☠️ In 2019, FT Group was like "stonks!" 💸, and now they’re just a slow clap away from giving TNW a funeral 🤷‍♂️. Sources say they were fr fr trying harder than a single dad at a PTA meeting, but alas! The revenue streams dried up quicker than one of those cringe TikTok trends. 🌊👋 Sippin’ on that corporate copium, the TNW Board had to tell their contributors, "We love you, but we also like money... so bye-bye!" 😭✌️ A *"developer"* (definitely not a coffee-fueled intern) was overheard saying, "We tried to innovate, but all we got was a website that looks like it time-traveled from 2006." 🧠💥 🔥🔥 *Hot Take Alert*: In 2025, all media will be just YouTube influencers reading Wikipedia articles in a sandwich shop. *Mark my words*! 🥪🚀✨