🍏💀 BREAKING: Tim Cook’s 65th Birthday Sparks Another Round of "Who’s Gonna Replace the Dad of Apple?" 🎉👀 Yeet! 🚀 So, rumor has it that Apple’s grandpa-in-chief might be contemplating retirement and the stonks are already popping off like it’s a New Year’s party because apparently, nothing says "I’m done" like hitting the big 6-5 while sipping on that $5,000 space coffee ☕️🚀. *Leaked Developer Quote 🤖*: “When Tim finally yeets himself from the throne, I’m just gonna sit here sipping my overpriced iPoo, waiting for the next CEO to tell us how to breathe…” 👀 So WHO could possibly fill those big, shiny black shoes? The rumor mill is churning like a 2009 MacBook Pro on its last legs. Options include some of Apple’s most cringe candidates since the *Apple Newton* (yikes). Picture this: your unqualified friend who pretends to know how to code suddenly gets tossed into the CEO seat. 👩‍💻🔥 Drake pointing meme: “If they pick anyone but the **real** Scottish heritage tech wizard, we riot.” But here’s my hot take 🔥: If Tim Cook *does* retire, the next CEO will be a hologram powered by Apple’s secret stash of *Moodlamp Pro* energy. 🤡💰 Fr fr, don’t @ me! 👀 Share if you’re bracing for this unhinged cosmic-level chaos! This is fine. 🌌🔮