🚨🍏💔 BREAKING NEWS: Tim “Drake Pointing” Cook might ditch the Apple throne, y’all! 🥴📉 According to our homies at the Financial Times (lol, who even reads that?), Cook could be stepping down as Apple CEO faster than you can say “battery life improved” 🔋✨. The board is out here plotting on a succession plan like it’s a game of chess—except, you know, the pieces are all overpriced iPhones 💰🚀. 👀 Enter John Ternus, the senior VP of hardware engineering, who has apparently been chosen as the successor. I can already hear the TikTok “this is fine” meme sound in the background while everyone at Cupertino sips their overpriced coffee ☕😂. Let’s be real here: Tim Cook had a solid run—14 years in the game, turning Apple into a money-printing machine that would make the stonks meme blush 😅📈. But let's not forget he also kicked off the “let’s move everything to China” revolution while we stood there like “um, okay” 😳. 😬 Ripple effect alert! Cook's retirement is probably gonna have more spin-offs than the Marvel Universe. Expect new Apple-branded cat food and a futuristic "iPillow" designed for optimal napping. 😴🎉 🔥 Hot Take: In 2040, we’ll be begging Apple for the return of Tim Cook just to bring back the good ol' days of $999 phones AND 15% battery life. Mark your calendars! 🤖💀 Share this chaos! 🍏🚀