🚨BREAKING: Tim Cook is DTF... Down to Fund China! 🍏🇨🇳 In a move that has Wall Street screaming “STONKS!” 💰📈, our favorite fruit-loving CEO Timmy Cook took a jaunt to the land of dim sum and dragons, pledging even MORE cash to keep Apple’s Chinese supply chain from going *poof* like your last WiFi signal! 😱📦 ✨✨ *Leaked Developer Quote Alert* ✨✨: "Honestly, we’re just trying to keep the iPhone production from looking like my college roommate’s cooking — total disaster. 😂" So, what’s on Tim’s agenda? Besides grabbing a few dumplings 🥟 and becoming besties with Xi Jinping, he’s *cough* promising to hit ‘em with that investment jackpot! 💥🔥 Meanwhile, back in the States, people are furiously scrolling TikTok wondering if their latest iPhone's going to get a ‘Made in China’ patch for the next release. 👀📱 Drake be like: "You’re a 10 but you keep sending jobs overseas." 😂➡️🥴 🔥HOT TAKE: Expect future Apple products to come with a side of fortune cookies. “Your stocks will soar… or you might just get goose egg.” So grab your popcorn 🍿, fam! This is just the warm-up for the upcoming *Apple vs. Everything* war. IT'S GONNA BE WILD!!!! 💥💀🚀