🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: APPLE JUST REPORTED IT SOLD ITS 3 BILLIONTH IPHONE!!! 🤯📱💰 You heard that right, fam! Tim "I Just Want to Sell You More Stuff" Cook just dropped the bombshell of the century: Apple has shipped 3 BILLION iPhones since 2007! 🤡💀 So, what does this mean? Well, first off, let’s all take a moment to appreciate that’s *more* than the number of people who’ve watched every single Fast & Furious movie (and that's saying something, fr fr). 🍿🚗💨 Analysts are crying “STONKS!” 📈💸 while Tim just flexed on everyone like Drake pointing at the iPhone sales graph. "We are proudly producing overpriced rectangles that everyone feels they NEED,” Tim reportedly said (probably with a smirk). 😂💔 But hold up! Before you whip out your credit card and yell “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY,” remember that this just means more software updates coming to crash our devices at least 3.5 times a year! #ThisIsFine 🐶🔥 Apple fanboys, brace yourselves: By 2030, we’ll all be rocking iPhones implanted in our foreheads. You heard it here first! 👽🚀💥 #UnhingedPrediction Now go forth, share this madness, and let’s watch the tech world crumble! 🤖💥