🚨💀 BREAKING NEWS: Tile trackers are basically playing hide-and-seek with your safety and, spoiler alert, YOU'RE the one hiding! 🙈🔍 So, it turns out these little plastic rectangles of despair not only help you find your lost keys but could also serve as the GPS for your STALKER. Yes, folks, researchers dropped a bomb on Tile, claiming their lack of encryption is the digital equivalent of leaving your front door wide open for anyone to walk in and steal your snacks 🍕💔. Eva Galperin from EFF is like, "Duh, we’ve been saying this for ages," while Tile’s response was like that one friend who promises to improve their life choices but keeps eating the extra large pizza 🍕👀. “We’ve made improvements,” they say. Yeah, improvement like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. Bang up job, Tile! 🎯⚰️ Imagine this convo in Tile HQ: 👨‍💻 Developer 1: "What if we just don't encrypt anything?" 👨‍💻 Developer 2: "Yeah, sounds based! Let’s see how many stalkers we can attract! 🚀👻" So here’s the *very* unhinged prediction: by 2024, the only thing tracking your movements will be TikTok dances as stalkers will be too busy to even care about your keys. #Stonks! 💸🔥 Share if you want to keep your friends safe from tech’s cringiest fails! 💔📱✌️