💥🎉 BREAKING NEWS: TikTok FINALLY makes a move that’s not just a viral dance challenge! 💃🚫🤡 In the epic saga of TikTok drama (not just your average 15-second cringe), they’ve just dropped a HUGE bombshell: Ziad Ojakli is the new head honcho of public policy for the Americas! Bye-bye, Michael Beckerman! 👋💥 It’s like if replacing Thanos with a higher-paid accountant was a thing—because, like, who wouldn’t want a veteran government affairs executive to navigate these TikTok tea spills? ☕💔 #ZiadIsTheChosenOne #PolicyPowersActivate “TikTok needs someone who knows the government game like they know the latest TikTok trends,” said an alleged *insider* who may or may not be Ziad himself, sipping boba and scrolling through memes. 😏🙌 Real talk—this is a MAJOR glow-up for TikTok, which often feels like a 7th-grader trying to explain blockchain: totally lost and just vibing. 😂💀 But let’s be real, losing Beckerman feels like when the Wi-Fi goes out mid-stream. Absolute chaos. 🔥🔥 In totally unhinged predictions, I foresee TikTok launching a new feature called “PolicyTok” where users post 30-second videos critiquing government regulations. Fame AND fortune await, no cap! 🚀💰 #Stonks 🚀💰