🚨🏦 BREAKING NEWS: TIDE JUST PASSED THE UNICORN TEST! 🦄🔥 Hold up, fam! 👐 While ya’ll were busy dunking on Elon’s latest Twitter meltdown, UK fintech Tide is flexing on all of us like it’s leg day at the gym! 💪💸 Powered by over 1.6 MILLION micro and small businesses, with a fat chunk of them in India, Tide is like the little engine that could (but with way more funding)! 🚂💨 Just when you thought the only "Tide" you cared about was the detergent, they just leveled up and became a TPG-backed unicorn! That's right, folks! They’re out here making big stonks while you’re still trying to figure out how to adult! 📈💰 🚨Leaked Dev Quote Alert🚨: "We wanted to be the fintech version of The Avengers, but turns out we just became the ‘B-team’ of unicorns. 🤡💀" — Probably a dev after one too many Zoom calls. UK + India = A global fintech love story that even your cringe ex couldn’t write! This is the future of finance, guys! (or just a really fancy way to ask for your bank details? 👀) 💥 UNHINGED HOT TAKE: In 5 years, Tide’s gonna be a dating app for entrepreneurs. “Swipe right for low fees and great ROI!” 💖🤖 #TheFutureIsNow #SmallBizWoes #FintechFiasco